So it was time once again for my annual check-up. I’ve learnt that I am ‘ok’ going to these check-ups and that I don’t need to be scared of the enodmetriosis returning. They do get easier with time. I just have to take Yaz every single day and I can continue with my daily live without worries and without thinking about endometriosis. Yes, I do find myself still crying every now and then knowing there is a very real possibility that me and my husband won’t be able to have children of our own because of endometriosis. But I keep believing. Keep hoping. And believing that there is a reason for everything in life. If we don’t have faith, what do we have.
This time around I had one questions that I desperately needed to ask as it was driving me crazy, ‘can we at least try conceiving naturally?‘ I had to ask even though I knew the most probable answer. I just have to.
The doctor was happy with what she saw on the sonar. I can’t say enough how important it is to have a good doctor. They bring a calmness over you, knowing you are in good hands. So I asked the question. She looked at me and said if I really want to I can, even if it just for the sake of getting confirmation. But. She won’t recommend me going off Yaz for more than 6 months. At the most. Me reading between the lines interpreted it as ‘you, can but don’t go off Yaz for more than 2 months’. I mean, you never know where a miracle is waiting on you around the corner. But I also don’t want to put myself at unnecessary risk of having to go through the whole treatment process again. And in her words, the scarring was so severe that the anatomy required to conceive is not there. We once again discussed IVF and she told me that I can go to any of the clinics in Cape Town area, it will be much more convenient for me.
I walked out of there, still believing that one day I might be able to hold my baby in my arms. I have to believe. But I will be ‘ok’ if I don’t get to experience that blessing because of the man that I am married to and because of my faith.